DataCraft Blog

No, really, why did I want to own a business?

It's been 15 years since Monica and Jon partnered up to purchase DataCraft and throughout those years they've seen many ups and downs. Recently, Monica decided to share some of her experiences at the Belvidere Area Chamber of Commerce Women's Business Breakfast Network. We've decided to share that insight with you, below is her speech from the event.

No, really, why did I want to own a business? In thinking back to my decision to buy DataCraft with my father in 1994, I don't know that I really remember WHY. It probably had something to do with thinking it would be kind of cool to work with my dad - someone for whom I had a lot of admiration (and who had worked at DataCraft since 1978) - or maybe I thought it would be easy, or I might have thought that I would have a lot more time to spend with my family, or "it's now or never..."

Whatever I was thinking, I absolutely know that it sounded nothing like, "Wow, I could really learn a lot by owning a business!" As it turns out, that's exactly what I should have thought.

Here's the lesson I've learned:

I need to be open to accepting a LOT more lessons. I could sit down now and leave you with that, but I'll share some specifics in three categories...

1. Fears
2. Tears
3. Cheers

Travel back 15 years with me to visit Sunday evening, February 13, 1994.

Just into my thirties, I was expecting our second child - due in September - with my husband Stuart. My parents and my sister gathered at our big old farm house to celebrate my mom's birthday. "The Men" had just left to pick up a pizza when the phone rang. Strangely, it was one of my father's co-workers at DataCraft looking for my dad...at my house... What she told me didn't register immediately but changed the course of our lives. Don Craft, founder and president of DataCraft had died that afternoon...AT WORK...alone...of a heart attack. The co-worker and her husband had found him...

The next four months involved watching my father lose upwards of 25 pounds while holding the business together for Don's widow, leaving my job (with REALLY great benefits) as Controller of Liebovich Bros., Inc. in Rockford, negotiating a purchase price for DataCraft, and closing the deal in mid-June.

During the following three months we visited and reassured clients, tried to understand all aspects of our new investment, and began learning about our new roles. I went to my prenatal appointments, and went to client open house events, and delivered a healthy little girl - Tara - on September 23, and took a two-week maternity "leave" during which my father brought work to me at home.

Then, to wrap up 1994, two (of only four) employees quit...one of them to take clients with her. My sister got married; my daughter Carolyn and I were in the wedding. My mother and her four sisters sold the family "centennial" farm near Galena where they were raised. Tara - alternating with the breast pump - went to work with me daily so I could continue nursing.

1994...the kind of year we never, ever want to repeat!

Sometime, during the blur of 1994, I found the following quote by business author Ted Frost in a box of Don Craft's papers at work:

"So you're in business for yourself, huh?
Well, just keep this in mind:
Your customers may plague you with complaints,
Your employees may walk out in your busy season,
Your relatives may walk off with your profits,
But cheer up - it's only a game!
(Too bad if you lose.)"

Yes, it seemed like my new business partner and I were off on a grand adventure... So, on to the fears, tears, and cheers:

FEARS Short story writer Katherine Mansfield said:

"Risk! Risk anything!
Care no more for the opinions
Of others, for those voices.
Do the hardest thing on earth for you.
Act for yourself. Face the truth."

Well, the truth is that before I became a business owner, I didn't know how many things I could possibly be afraid of! These are some of the fears I've encountered over the last 15 years:

About my family:

• If I take any time off for family and fun, I might return to a disaster or disasters at work!
• If I keep working these hours, I will miss a lot of important events in my daughters' lives.
• I won't have enough time to get "everything" - meaning work at home - done.
• I'll lose our house!
• My husband will be jealous / threatened / intimidated by my business.
• The business will literally kill my father!
• My family relationships will be ruined.

About my self esteem:

• I'm not smart enough.
• I won't be able to keep my head in the game.
• I'm not strong enough.
• I'm going to keep making the same mistakes over and over and over and...

Staff fears:

• If I delegate the work, it won't get done correctly.
• We won't be able to find the right talent.
• If we find the right talent, we won't be able to AFFORD them
• What if they steal from us?
• What if they don't like me...?

General feelings of terror:

• Having a feeling of impending doom.
• We're going to lose all of our clients!
• We're growing too slowly...we'll run out of money.
• We're growing too QUICKLY...we'll run out of money
• I'm going to be a failure.
• ...and my personal favorite fear...What if I succeed?

I wrote in my "business" journal in May of 2000: "This whole growth thing is a little terrifying!" Yes, it can be... Now, don't think that I consider all - or even ANY - of these fears rational; fear usually isn't. What I've learned by facing these fears - and a ridiculous number of others - is that the fear of public speaking and death are NOTHING compared to the fears in the heart of a business owner.

Now the TEARS:
"There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers." Saint Teresa of Avila, 16th century Carmelite nun, said this. I've cried about business so many times that it seems silly - and painful. I've cried about:

Family - the painful:

• Realizing that my father isn't "all that and a bag of chips"; he's just another human being. At one point, I was so mad at him that I mentally sent my "father" to the Aleutian Islands where he was stationed in the Air Force...so I could deal with my "partner".
• Confusing family conversations with business conversations is a REALLY bad idea.
• At times, family relationships have deteriorated.
• Missing my sister's birthday because I was at work fixing someone else's mistakes.
• Coming home from work really late more than I ever imagined I would.

My self esteem -these are the HARDEST realizations:

• I'm not "all that and a bag of chips"!
• Yeah, that fear of not being smart enough...
• Periodically, I have lost focus and not kept my head in the game.
• Being faced with a depressed and angry business partner  who happened to also be my father.
• Travelling through my own depression.
• Making the same mistakes over and over and over and...
• Working for a lunatic - MYSELF!!

Staff - these are the ridiculous and comical:

• Having former staff members steal clients. Holding on to employees too long after they have quit working...yes, it happens.
• Hiring the wrong people.
• Firing the people that should have never been hired.
• Learning that one of our employees was in jail  yeah, that background check would have been a good idea!
• Having a new employee show up for work the first day only to quit before even entering the building.
• Getting back from vacation to be told that an employee quit while I was gone...and... the most unnerving -
• Being cussed out by an employee after I sincerely said, "Good morning! How's it going today?"

Crying over money:

• Experiencing a client leaving town and never paying us.
• Providing really great service just to be beaten down on price.
• Holding on to clients who just drain the resources out of the business.
• Personally covering the cash flow of the business.

and...

I've cried just because:

• I was so darn tired,
• I was overwhelmed,
• I was frustrated to learn that I really COULDN'T do everything,
• I underestimated the negative impact of change.

And...finally...the CHEARS -

Every day...

• I get to choose to succeed!
• I get to build a business!
• I get to make the difficult choices!

In her poem "Aspiration" - Emily Dickinson shares:

We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise;
then, if we are true to plan,
Our statures touch the skies.

Here are just a few of the things I've celebrated...

Clients:

• Working with successful clients and celebrating their successes with them.
• Helping companies prosper.
• Clarifying financial information for clients so they can make intelligent business decisions.
• Listening to clients' dreams for their businesses.
• Developing and building our trademarked process Business Clarity®.

Staff:

• Experiencing the satisfaction of throwing an uncooperative former employee out of my business (I have to admit that this is a little vengeful!)
• Knowing that really talented people can be found with a lot of persistence and some really great evaluation tools.
• Learning to understand employees' strengths and focusing on THAT rather than their weaknesses.
• Finally, FINALLY getting a business team together who support each other at work and in life.

Building my self esteem:

• Learning, learning, learning...
• Taking control of situations in which I KNOW I'm right.
• Trusting my gut.
• Realizing how desperately I needed help with balance and refusing to ever travel that path again.
• The joy of having conversations with brilliant business minds...I read  a LOT.
• Learning to lead with COURAGE...this doesn't mean without fear.

Best of all...my family:

• I have a really great husband who's also a business owner - he 'gets' the domestic aspects of life!
• I've gotten to know my father more deeply than I ever would have otherwise.
• Our "Take your daughters to work day" is any day we want it to be!
• I've had the flexibility to attend almost ALL of my daughters' school activities.
• Teaching my girls that each of us has only so much energy and strength  focus it on positive things.
• When I face challenges at work, I use them as family illustrations of using important life skills.
• I get to marvel at the brilliance of my children learning about business, politics, and life!

And still... The best is yet to come! Back in February of 1994, I had no idea that I needed to be open to accepting a LOT of lessons or - better yet - what lessons I would be learning as a business owner. No one could have told me how frightening running a business can be, or how many disappointments I would face, or the tears I would shed. I had to experience all of those things myself. And, now, I wish you could somehow FEEL the celebrations I've had because of this insane adventure over the last 15 years! In closing, I share the following words of former U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright:

"As you go along your road in life, you will, if you aim high enough, also meet resistance...but no matter how tough the opposition may seem, have courage still - and persevere."

What are some of the fears tears and chears you've faced as a business owner?

(If you'd like to learn more about my FEARS, TEARS and CHEERS project and book, contact Monica )